Deciding to stay or go....husband seems lost and doesn't know what he wants?

Married for 8 years, we are total opposites, have been through a lot together. Honestly he was wishy washy from the beginning of our relationship, eloped after a rocky 6 months of dating. We moved to another state and he has struggled every since to feel at home here, and to be a husband to me. He is a wonderful provider, responsible, helps around the house, works hard and tries to stay healthy physically. But he is not romantic, is thoughtless, sexually awkward (its just a release for him), and emotionally closed off. He says he loves me, but when I ask for specific needs to be met, he says, he can't do it cause it would be fake. Then he says things like "do i just not love you enough?" Like he doesn't know why he has such a hard time connecting. I have been trying to focus on the positive for so long, but I am emotionally drained at his lack of concern for me emotionally and physically. Over the years he's been very critical of me, I just feel like he isn't "into" me. Also he has said things like when we got married "he wasn't over the moon" for me, because he was under a lot of stress and wasn't really ready to get married. But then he'll come to bed and try to cuddle with me and joke around?? Its so hard because I don't want to beg anyone to love and care for me, but I long for that feeling of truly having someone that I feel secure with and know that I am really loved and desired. He says he is frustrated with himself and feels like he needs to make serious changes in his life. We are in counseling currently (for the second time), but we have discussed separation. I don't know how to feel or what to do. Should I just leave and give him space to figure out what he wants?